"THEY CALL ME..."

"THEY CALL ME..."

I introduced myself to someone, as I always do, by saying, "Hi, I'm Ted," just to hear them reply," They call me...whatever whatever whatever." That bothers me for several reasons.

First of all, who calls you that and why? When did they originally start calling you that and what were the circumstances that surrounded the catastrophic shock that compelled someone to call you by something other than your real name?

Apparently, you liked the name, so you perpetuated the practice by telling others, "they call me...," so everyone else could do the same.

Ahh.. Are you, by chance, under the FBI Witness Protection Program? That would explain it. But, now I am wondering why.

Secondly, and most profoundly, maybe you just don't like your name and want to change it, so you picked one and thought you could somehow persuade others to call you that and get by with it...that is...until the lady at the driver's licence place calls you by your real name and others watch in shock as you get up to go to the counter to pick up your driver's license, which, by the way, has your real name on it.

Self-proclaiming yourself under a another name seems to me to go against an unwritten law of society that assumes no one likes their real name...it sucks! It has always sucked, but there's nothing you can do about it.

But, now here comes someone who goes against all the rules and has the audacity...the nerve, to actually take it upon themselves to change their own name and make others call them what THEY THEMSELVES WOULD LIKE TO BE CALLED.

OK....FINE!

Screw your parents...screw the driver's license bureau...screw your elementary school records...screw the military name badge on your uniform.....screw it all!

It's time everyone pick a name for themselves they really like and go with it. Just don't preface it with..."They call me..."

Just say,"Hi, I'm (name you like)"

Ted....I mean Logan.